Blendelle

In the blink of an eye, Blendelle* became a mother in an unexpected way. Her sister gave birth to a daughter and three hours later, because she couldn’t care for the child sufficiently, Blendelle became the sole caregiver for her newborn niece.  

For the next nine years, Blendelle loved her niece as she would her own daughter and was fully committed as a mother would: caring for the child’s every need and putting the girl’s life before her own.  

Before her niece’s 10^th birthday, her sister, the birth mother, was ready to start guardianship and subsequently took her daughter from Blendelle’s care.  

“It’s difficult to share about losing a child when they’re still alive.” 

Blendelle wasn’t able to see the child she raised for nine years since her sister came back into their lives. The birth mother felt that for her daughter to move on from Blendelle’s care, she needed full separation. Even though Blendelle had no idea when the next time she would see her niece would be, she still considered her in every aspect of her life.  

“Anything extra that I have is going into a fund so that when I’m gone, whatever I can leave behind for her will hopefully help her. I want her to be well-cared for.” 

As she struggled with letting that chapter of her life close, Blendelle tried to refocus her priorities and bring her own personal needs to the forefront.  

“I’m trying not to think about my niece because it’s really difficult and I want to not make everything about her. I want to live my life for myself.” 

Blendelle is a born and raised Phoenician and most recently held a job at a local call center that specialized in HR issues. In 2020, her job moved to fully remote, and she learned something new about herself: she loved understanding and improving processes.  

“During the pandemic, we were left to our own devices and I discovered that I’m really good at the process and breaking things down, finding the need, and how it affects all the other departments.” 

She operated in that role for the next four years and was proud of the processes she built and their positive impact on her work team.  

Then, the company she worked for at the time underwent new management that began changing the leadership-style and she feared for her growth opportunities as everything she loved about her job began to change.  

“I was in this job, making money, but I became complacent. I knew it wasn’t feeding my soul, in fact, some days it felt like it was crushing my soul. But I was paying my bills.” 

Due to the income security, Blendelle hesitated to leave her job, but knew she couldn’t live without a passion for her work. She began the search for something new, even considering working at the Starbucks across the street from her old office.  

“I found myself for the first time in my life with an opportunity and an awareness to really think about what I wanted for myself. Every other time in my life, I made decisions based on what other people needed, my siblings, my mom, my niece.” 

As word spread around her friend group that she’d like to venture into a new career, they started sending her different opportunities and the semiconductor industry was one of them. She found Fresh Start by Googling semiconductor technician training and had an introductory call with Fresh Start team member Trey.  

“My interaction with Trey was really good. I want to say that because I think he deserves a lot of credit for how inviting and safe he made the space. He never made me feel dumb for not knowing stuff.” 

After applying to the cohort, Blendelle found herself in the semiconductor technician training through Fresh Start in April 2024.  

On day one of the class, Blendelle felt internal shame and an old script was whirling through her mind that told her she wasn’t worthy.  

“I felt like I was taking an opportunity away from someone who was more deserving and that I was taking up space that didn’t belong to me. It was a difficult feeling.” 

She took the night to think and let herself come to a place of peace and excitement for her journey ahead. The next day, she immediately felt and absorbed the support system created by Fresh Start.  

“There is something unique here, there’s this space where you can be yourself and change your mind. You can explore and find out who you are. That’s not something that I’m used to especially as a woman who grew up in a religious family.” 

As the sessions continued, Blendelle was happily surprised at the small community created within the all-women classroom. She and her peers even created a group chat to hold each other accountable.  

“We text and help each other with resumes, interviews, and our elevator pitches. There’s a lot of intentional caring for one another. They’re so genuine and to feel that care reciprocated is a great feeling.” 

She relied on her newfound friends when she struggled in class and began to shut down.  

“There was a time I got triggered with the simulation part of class and one of them saw that and met me where I was. That alone was so huge and beautiful. It’s been a beautiful human experience that I was not expecting.” 

Blendelle said one of the biggest challenges in the five-week course was her own mind. She questioned if she could complete the class.  

One day, she struggled with the pneumatics section and was upset with herself for not completing the lesson to her full potential. She asked her instructor James, if she could redo the lesson and he obliged with a new due date of the following Monday.  

“I came in after spending the whole weekend tearing apart what I could in my mind with the schematics and went in and nailed it. At that moment I was like, ‘Oh yeah, I can do this,’ 

Two other challenging moments for Blendelle were professional dress shopping and the interviews.  

“I’m not a fashionista but I went to Kohl’s and made it work. Then the interview part, I stressed so hard over that. I almost felt like an imposter of sorts. I thought, ‘I’m just pretending to be somebody that belongs in this business world, and I feel so out of place.’ I know that’s not healthy, and I’m working through it.” 

In low moments, Blendelle remembered who she was doing this for: her own inner child. 

“I want to live my life where I am doing something for my inner child or my teenage self instead of doing it for someone else. I’m doing it for me.” 

She also said that she doesn’t know much about her family history, so she’s unsure how long her grandparents and great-grandparents lived. She wondered if she could reasonably expect to live into her 60s, 70s, or 80s.  

“I have this time left where I can try to be who I actually am and live that out. I want to know what it’s like to live and not have any regrets when I die.” 

As the semiconductor training wound down, Blendelle found that she defined success as pursuing something that you love without regretting or resenting any of the sacrifices necessary to achieve the pursuit.  

“I don’t know that everyone would acknowledge the sacrifices required to chase a goal and leave your comfort zone. I don’t know this new world that I’m going in, but it does excite me and make me feel like there is something there for me.” 

When she finished the class, she felt a variety of emotions: excitement, hope, and then surprisingly, a little disappointment. While her future opened up before her, the friend group outside of her new Fresh Start class, that she’d once cherished seemed to be falling away.  

“I had a lot of friends who shared their ‘what ifs’ about what I was doing. I started to see a separation with how I’m changing and where they’re at. There’s sadness there because I feel like there might be more changes in my relationships than I was anticipating.” 

She was especially proud that she stayed true to herself and the goals she set out to accomplish at the start of her Fresh Start journey.  

“I didn’t come into Fresh Start as the person I was groomed to be when I was growing up like the caretaker that set my own needs aside. I came in as myself and let the people see more of what I’m like, and I still made friends!” 

Blendelle hoped that other women looking for support would find Fresh Start and know that they are worthy of a hand up in the world.  

“Part of the reason I felt shame at the beginning of the class was because so many women had children, and I wasn’t a mother in the traditional sense. I would hope that the next woman who doesn’t have a child or is no longer in a bad living situation knows they’re still just as worthy of the opportunity because opportunity isn’t always for someone that has it worse. That’s the mindset we’re taught. You’re deserving because you’re you and you deserve to go after the things that make you happy.”